thinking about what's next

Hi!

So, for the last few weeks I have been doing the 'Blog With Pip' course about blogging, by Pip Lincolne from Meet Me At Mikes. You know Pip. I am sure you do. You won't see any changes here yet, but I've been doing a lot of thinking about where to go with blogging. It's been a thought provoking start to the course - things that I'd already been tossing over in my mind are now right in front of me, and being discussed with classmates. In a nutshell, it's been five and a half years that I've had this blog so now I am wondering things like...

• do I want to keep blogging? (um, I think so)
• how much work would it take to make this a blog I really like? (a lot)
• do I know how to make all those changes? (no, but I could learn)
• would I rather start a new blog that better reflects what I do? (yes... I think I might want to do that)
• would that also be a lot of work and involve things I don't know? (yes!)
• do I know what I am doing with any of this? (no!)

I've always stumbled with blogging because while I like taking photos and I like posting them, I don't know what to write about, so I don't know how to keep a focus (which I now understand to mean I have not created a niche, a thing that people can search for, when they are searching for... things). I didn't mind this for a long time. It was a rambling, un-noticed blog and actually that was what I really liked about it! But if you recall, last year I left my job and that has changed everything. It has changed the way I spend my time, the way I take photos, my other creative pursuits, the way I deal with ideas. I feel like this blog needs so many changes to make it what I have in my mind, and that makes me sad, like I am abandoning it! So.... I am not sure what to do!

The other thing I struggle with, and I have mentioned this before, is dealing with the stupid number of photos I take, and how to edit them. I end up with so many photos that I don't post any at all. Part of what I am wondering about is whether to start a new blog that is much more carefully curated, where I choose what I post much more deliberately. Maybe I would keep this one going as a sort of scrap book? Leave it as the un-noticed, rambling, happy, messy, random place it has been for this long but have something new going that is a bit sharper, a bit smarter. Again, I am unsure.

If you have any thoughts on any of this, I'd love to hear them. Leave a comment, or email me, or send a message on facebook.... even if you don't see this post for a while. I've got a few ideas but I am spending too much time trying to puzzle it all out. Any clues would be appreciated like tiny breadcrumbs I can follow. The course is worth doing too, if you have a blog (or want one) and are looking for either technical information, ideas, tweaks, direction... or just a chat with other bloggers. I'm glad I signed up and have a good feeling about blogging again... whatever form it ends up taking!

H.

Year of the Horse

Earlier this year someone mentioned it was the Year of the Horse. They said this would mean ideas or tangents in your life would take off, fast, like a horse out of a racing gate. Maybe you wouldn't be ready for the changes that would come? But maybe they’d be the best thing to happen to you.

I don’t believe in stuff like that really, I don’t believe in anything – but the horse analogy captured my attention so I looked it up. Essentially, in the Year of the Horse people behave like a free spirits, they are untamed, galloping ahead, taking risks. A lucky year, but fast moving and full of upheaval, and if you are reckless then a year full of hurdles to jump.

The Year of the Horse started in February and I couldn’t help but remember it often during this year, as so much seemed to change. Sometimes I’ve felt like I barely recognise myself, other times I guess things seem the same as they always have.

Some real life things have definitely changed. The biggest has been that in June I left my day job. That has led to some interesting shifts in other areas, but for now let me tell you about leaving work.

I started working '9 to 5' ten years ago. I had finished my degree and all I wanted was to buy a house. After travelling, and renting, all I wanted was a place I could decorate the way I wanted, to cultivate a garden and to say I had a ‘home’. A government job seemed a secure thing, a stable way to get an income, and buy a house. So I did just that. I worked in government for ten years and had some great times and some awful times. I met some awesome people who became great friends, and came across some total freaking weirdos. There were times when I had a blast, but other times where I was barely functional from panic attacks and anxiety, and long stretches of mind-numbing boredom, frustration and gloom. I had a house, and needed an income to keep it, so I stayed in my stable job.

I did photography on the side, sometimes I got paid but mostly I did it just for fun. Starting this blog (in 2009) was a great outlet, I really enjoyed sharing my photos, it gave me a renewed focus as I taught myself how to use a digital camera and Photoshop (having studied and worked in photography forever ago, when everything was on film). I also always kept up with other creative habits, like painting, writing, making collages and collecting stuff. It was ok. Ten years went by.

Towards the end of my time in government things turned much more towards the un-fun than the fun. I got stranded in a job where I had nothing to do, certainly nothing that made use of my skills and experience. If you have been flat out for a while, doing nothing is kind of nice – you go on the internet, catch up on emails, meet a friend for coffee – but when it stretches on for weeks, months and eventually years, you go a certain kind of crazy. You live on a bit of a knife edge between rage and despair, hopelessly trying to fill your day with any tasks that come to hand, stretching out your move in Words With Friends so it might just take five minutes off the day. Your self-worth plummets. Your motivation to turn up at all is zero. You have long running fantasies about finding the person who left a dirty fork on the bench and stabbing them with it. There was other stuff, as well as the boredom, but that was probably the biggest, longest running problem.

For me it meant a lot of crying in the morning as I made the dreaded journey a place I increasingly loathed. Eventually it morphed into constant nausea, shaking, sleeplessness, heart palpitations and breathlessness. The bouts of panic attacks I’d had over the years settled into less dramatic but still crippling levels of daily anxiety which went on for so long I wondered what was ‘normal’ anymore and if I would ever feel how I ‘used to’. I found it hard to be motivated to do things I used to enjoy, including posting here.

So…. this story has ended fortunately for me, with a redundancy package that has meant I haven’t had to work for a while. I’ve been at home for a few months, having the time of my life. At first it was still bumpy as my mind/body/spirit recovered from all the stress. It was a long, grey winter here in Perth and I felt it every day. But spring came, all sunshine, green shoots and new leaves, and my mood improved. I started taking a lot of photos and writing blog posts in my head. Now, here we are! 

I don’t know where this blog is headed. I am not sure how long I will keep it up, but I know that it doesn’t feel over yet. I also have loads of photos to share, so hang in there – they may be random, they may or may not have words attached, they may not even be in chronological order – but here we go!

H.

xxoo

A blog catch up, just for you

Struggling through a heatwave here in Perth the last few days. Being stuck indoors was a good chance to sit on the computer and go through some photos, and I thought what I might do is a massive blog catch up over the next few weeks of all the photos I didn't post lately. All sorts of stuff, in no particular order.

(This photo sums up Perth for me at the moment. It's a light globe that is on during the day, and it has been vandalised. Waste and stupidity. Maybe it's just the scorching weather and the so-called 'festive' season - people seem to behave stupidly at this time of year, don't they?! Sigh.... I'm hiding indoors until it's all over.)

some milestones

The Colour H has some small milestones this week. Firstly I posted my 150th photo on Instagram - you can see those photos here even if you are not on Instagram yourself. And also I passed the 100 likers mark on facebook. Thanks everyone!

fringe world 2013 (1)

Hi! This year I volunteered to take photos for Fringe World, and have a look at the awesome stuff I have seen already! I got to photograph some of my favourite acts, namely Barry Morgan, and the Wau Wau Sisters, and got to discover some new ones like the Lunar Circus, and the ladies from Sugar Blue Burlesque. So far some of my photos have gone up on the Fringe World facebook page, and you may have even seen one of the Wau Wau Sisters in the West Australian. I adore people who make a living out of making other people laugh, and I can't help but smile to look back on these pics and remember how much fun it looked like they were having, and how much the audience were enjoying themselves. So, thank you for the fun Fringe performers. You guys are ace.

H.

p.s. more photos to come, but in the meantime you can also see some on The Colour H's facebook page or instagram.

The Colour H in Scoop magazine

Remember this opera poster from a while ago? Well some photos from that shoot are appearing in the current edition of Scoop magazine. After selling out in Perth in May, the Opera Box team are taking the show on the road to Albany. If you are down that way, definitely check them out.

The Colour H turns three!

It's pretty weird to realize it, but this blog has been going for THREE whole years as of today! I feel like a LOT has happened in those three years. Seriously, some things happened. I've just written two things in capital letters, so you can tell it is significant to me.

When I started this, my main mission was just to share my photos. It seemed a waste to have them all cooped up on my computer. I did not realize how it would shape me, shape my life. But it has.

I don't see myself as a blogger in the same way people who make their living from their blog are. I see myself more as a collector or an archivist. This is a space where things are recorded, kept for later. I have never followed all the instructions about how to get more people to see your blog, I think because I find them all a bit fake-friendly, and the consequence of that is this space has stayed quite obscure. And actually... I kind of like that. Being hidden, just doing what I do.

Now, as you know, I have launched The Colour H facebook page and that is quite a different experience. For starters I have only put up photos taken on my phone so far. It is SO much quicker and easier than blogging. Although I am in the habit of carrying my camera most places, I carry my phone everywhere, which means I never miss anything. And again, although I am used to people staring at me when I take out my camera and stop in the middle of the footpath to take a photo of a puddle, I attract far fewer stares when I do that on my phone. And I am quite enjoying that. But I have also found I am sharing my photos to a much wider audience than before which is a little confronting, but also fun.

I want to keep going with the blog, definitely, but I haven't sorted out in my head what to put on here vs what to put on the facebook page. As always, it will continue to be a work in progress. Thank you for visiting here and a special thanks to the people who have commented over the years and shown support. I really appreciate it!

love,

H.

The Colour H: now on facebook

Hi! I am a little sick with nerves to announce I've just started a facebook page. I'm not sure what makes me so nervous, since I've been yakking on here for nearly 3 years now, what's so different about yakking on facebook? I think it's the idea of counting up all those 'likes'. Or the lack of them. Or just the idea of sharing anything beyond the relatively obscure and quite safe space of a blog that not many people read. Anyway, I will promote it a bit more soon, via whatever means I can come up with, but for you guys who read this I am giving you the first chance to see it, like it, critique it... and I shall flog it a bit further afield once there is something actually on it. So, here it is, go ahead and be the first to like it!

H.

The Colour H on instagram

Hey so I am now on Instagram, if that is a thing that interests you. It's only been a day or two, I am still trying to figure it out. But it's fun, and a little bit addictive. I am called The Colour H but it wouldn't let me have spaces so you have to look for thecolourh if you want to follow. See you there!

H.

thinking about 2011, a blog award, and thank you

Hi! How nice is it to have a little break from work and things? I'm not having a proper break I guess, as I still have photo things to do, but you know, its nice not to have work-work hanging around. One of the "jobs" I wanted to do over this break was to make a photo book of all my favourite pictures from 2011. Well... this turned out to be an enormous job. Going through all my photos I could NOT believe how many awesome things, people and places I got to photograph in 2011! I was aiming for about 100, but my first cut has 364 photos in it.

While I was doing this, I decided I'd filter out my favourites of my favourites, and do a little retrospective for you. So for the next few days I'm going to share some of the highlights, colour by colour (narrowed down to five of each colour). They're not necessarily the "best", just a collection of great moments. Some you have already seen, but some not.

Now... while I was writing this up I flicked over to my google reader to find Lisa from Tea and Craft has nominated me for a Liebster Blog blogging award! For realz! Thanks Lisa, that is so awesome. The award requires me to nominate 5 other bloggers, but I'm going to have to have a little think about that and post again later.

Also, this is a last reminder you can buy my calendar via Red Bubble here (online only now as the order for Perth peeps has been placed).

Finally, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has participated in my photography this year - be that by modelling for me, reading this blog, sending me nice emails, finding work for me, joining me on adventures, buying my stuff, letting me dress you in costumes, and generally for allowing little moments in your life to become great memories in mine. I am very honoured. Here's to 2012!

H.

The Colour H calendar 2012

Hey, it's here! The Colour H calendar for 2012. Featuring a lovely selection of all-Perth, all-awesome, super colourful photos. And the good news is that they are for sale and you can buy one. You really should! It will look lovely in your living room. Or maybe the kitchen? They are $28 (plus postage*) via Red Bubble (go here). Pretty good value for a whole year of nice things to look at I reckon. Hmm... shiny... colourful... nice.

*Perth folks I will order some so if you don't want to pay postage and buy direct from me, send me an email. Also I have some already, so if you want to have a look before you buy, just let me know.