19.7.11

grey



A lady I spoke to in the lift said these lace things on the side of the building are representative of that fact there used to be lace factories in the area. That's nice. She also said they rattle when the wind blows and drive everyone nuts.

So it's now nearly the end of Week Four in the new building - that went fast! My last update (see it here) was at the beginning of Week Two and I was really knackered/delirious. The time in between has been filled with ups and downs - yes, eventually it came to tears - but I am really feeling like things are calming down and I am actually getting used to heights. What? What's that now?

Over the 4 weeks I have learned which things that stress me out, and therefore to avoid them if possible. This has included a) going too close to the windows, b) looking down, c) constructing elaborate fantasies in my head about how I get trapped in the elevator and end up stuck on level 19 and no-one can get me down again, and d) unnecessarily pondering the skills and work ethics of the people who built the thing, no doubt over schedule and budget, and therefore under extreme duress (...I'm sure it's fine. Ha ha. That window's not broken its just got a crack in it. Ha ha. Why are there five men in hi-vis jackets holding tools and staring at our ceiling looking worried? Ha ha. It's nothing.)

One of the downsides of the building is that its not finished. This means drilling and hammering and the works going on around us, said hi-vis men everywhere doing... things. I got in a lift on Monday that had just been refurbished, and it did not have any lights in it. This isn't something you notice until the doors close and the light outside goes away. And you are in a dark box. Going up, you think. This is super fun when you are already a bit nervous of the lifts!

This week they installed blinds for us, and by blinds I mean they have sticky-taped some plastic sheets over the top half of some of the windows. This is excellent for me because it makes me feel all cosy and enclosed, and less like I'm dangling off a precipice, and because they aren't actual blinds, no-one can fight over if they should be up or down - score! So this week, whether it was plastic sheets on the windows or just that I am getting used to it, I felt a big drop in anxiety about it all. Basically, I feel like I am at work, not on Mars. This is much better than I expected!

H.

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