on clouds

I take a lot of photos of clouds. When the sky is doing impressive things, I will be outside, staring at it. I tried briefly to learn the names of the different types, with the intent of becoming something of a cloudspotter, but I realized I don't need to know anything about clouds for them to impress me. It's enough for them to pass over my head, dazzling me with their shapes, layers, textures and colours. Its as if each cluster is a painting made of giant brush strokes, a work of art that is only there for a few minutes.

When I lived in London I did not like clouds. They tended to be that low down type, that cover the entire sky, often for days and days and days. They made me feel trapped, claustrophobic, hemmed in. I still feel like that now sometimes - if I don't see blue sky for a day or two, a gloom descends and I am reminded of how it felt in London. Houses are tall there, they loom over you and you never get a sense of how big the sky is. You never see the horizon.

It was nearly 15 years ago that I lived there, but I still have a recurring dream about leaving London. Making the decision to go, packing, tying up loose ends. I think I have that dream a lot whenever it feels like my life is ending one era or phase and entering another. For the first time though, I just had a dream about going back to London! The first thing I tried to work out when I arrived was what was the same and what had changed. I am not sure what it means, maybe that I am going backwards somehow...? A new era, but similar to one I have been through before...? Turning back time...? I hope it is a good sign. I think it is.

H.